Hey, clowns! Eating glue sticks and frying packing peanuts to make Cheetos are really cool things to do every week, but today, I’m going to take a quick break and get some rest. I’m getting over a cold from this weekend and my stress levels about things like money, survival, and rectal prolapses are starting to get to me. As the greatest food… Read more →
Month: June 2016
School’s Out For Summer: The Glue Stick Taste Test
We’re in the home stretch of June, and if you have children (who I’m sure are all unique little snowflakes), they’re probably off on summer vacation. If you’re a teacher, I imagine you have a lot of leftover supplies sitting in your classroom, sitting around, useless. Some school supplies are actually perishable, like glue and paste. After summer, sometimes these things… Read more →
How to Make Puffy Cheetos at Home with Packing Peanuts
Visiting Davida last weekend in Las Vegas was one of the best spontaneous decisions I’ve ever made. I had so much fun with her. We laughed a lot, wandered around Las Vegas, and ate some great food that wasn’t the crap at Heart Attack Grill. And yes, like a bunch of you guys have needled me about, there was some… Read more →
The Pizzle Takes Las Vegas: The Heart Attack Grill is Actually Trying to Kill You
My very second post on this website was an essay called Something to Eat. It was a hilarious piece. By hilarious, I mean, it made people cry and not in the funny way. Basically, I decided one day to get up and leave Chicago without knowing where I was going, and the resulting trip made me feel a little better… Read more →