Hi everybody! It’s Memorial Day weekend and I have done a lot of eating and drinking in people’s backyards. I will be taking a break to set the world record in piledriving your mother on a trampoline (it’s harder than it sounds), but I’ll be back in full force next week. My body is angry from me eating garbage. I love… Read more →
People often ask me where I get my inspiration for the greatest food blog in all of history. Some days, God reaches down from the heavens and whispers things into my ear, like, “Yo, you really need to eat some dicks, like actual dicks, because penises are hilarious, and I think you’re the idiot for the job.” Other days, like… Read more →
You guys are amazing. First of all, thank you for the continued donations — they are still coming in, which is mind-boggling to me. I know, I’m starting to sound like a broken record now, but each time this happens I practically pass out. The fact that you would send money to some pet-food eating moron makes me really tingly (mainly… Read more →
Happy belated Mother’s Day, everyone! Especially to all the mothers I’ve fisted. Man, I’m seriously the worst. I called Satan on Skype the other day and he said I’m going to have a huge condo down in Hell, filled with angry mommy bloggers and food writers who hate me. He did mention that the view of the Third Circle will be… Read more →
Last year at this time, I had the fun opportunity to go to Baconfest Chicago (which you can read about here). I brought my friend Drew (hi Drew!), we got drunk, and ate a lot of baconed-out things. It was great and we had a very fun time. But this year, something different happened. I was asked to be a Baconfest… Read more →