Sometimes, we all hit rock bottom. Turns out, based off the things I’ve eaten and documented on this blog, I’ve been at the bottom for a while. For example: Let’s say you’re wandering around, drunk, after a night out on the town. All the late-night restaurants have already closed, the streets drained of all signs of life except for the occasional… Read more →
Month: February 2015
Which Toothpaste Tastes Most Like A Shamrock Shake?
As we inch towards spring, a marvelous event occurs every year, bringing a holy creation back from the dead. It rises from the cave that it has been buried in, killed by people who claimed they loved it and needed it. With its yearly return, angels sing its praises. This story may sound familiar to many of you. And as it… Read more →
Fappy Valentine’s Day!
First of all, Happy Valentine’s Day! And to me, and all y’all single people — I wish you a wonderful self-loving day of loneliness. So Fappy Valentine’s Day to you, good single people of planet Earth. Know you’re not alone. Here’s a video I made one year ago to celebrate my loneliness on Valentine’s Day. I swear, I’m working on… Read more →
The Sexual Chocolate Valentine’s Day Cake
Call me a sap, but I have a soft spot for Valentine’s Day. Before everyone goes into a tirade about how Valentine’s Day is some bullshit made-up holiday by Hallmark and card companies, it’s really an ancient holiday. The romantic part started during the High Middle Ages, supposedly having something to do with Geoffrey Chaucer. But right now none of… Read more →
Purina Fancy Feast Broths: The Cat Food Taste Test
My awesome coworker Alicia recently sent me a link about Purina Fancy Feast on Eater. You can read the fun stuff here. Apparently, Fancy Feast is Top Chef: All Stars Richard Blais’ favorite cat food, because he endorses it. Nothing screams Top Chef like cat food, which is food that (most) humans don’t even eat. And of course, I suddenly got struck by… Read more →