A few weeks back I received an odd email from Saveur, a fancy food magazine, stating that I was a finalist in their 2016 blog awards.
At first I thought it was a prank, so I didn’t think too much about it. Until I realized it wasn’t a joke. So which one of you clowns nominated me? Fess up!
Either way, I’m flattered you guys did. I generally do not believe I am eligible for any kind of food writing awards due to the fact that I constantly talk about my penis, or I because I eat actual penises. That, and I do really interesting things to your mother, like shave racing stripes into her butt hair.
I’m genuinely overwhelmed.
Plus, I’m delighted by the idea of mommy food bloggers coming to my site from a fancy one and being absolutely disgusted at the fact that I’m a horrible, vulgar person who eats garbage and packing peanuts.
It’s likely I won’t be able to make the trip to New York at the end of September for the awards ceremony because the usual money concerns.
But also, much more importantly, my sister is getting married at the beginning of October. And there’s no way I’m even risking missing that.
Either way, if you feel like voting for me, you can do so at the Saveur voting page (scroll way down to the humor section). You’re allowed to vote once a day. Frankly, I think you should vote for Robyn, who is a friend of mine. She’s a better writer and a much better human being than I am. That should be rewarded more than me eating glue sticks.
Considering I started this site to piledrive my actual food writing career into the ground, this is a very interesting turn of events.
Anyway, now that this announcement is over, enjoy this picture of me that my friend Jesse made for no reason.
Thank you all for being here with me. I love you guys.